Command performance?? Bribing the Board of Tyrants?? Oh, you're scum, Candy. Know that? You're an oozing, slimy slug. No, wait. That's not fair to the slugs. You're a maggot. Darwin never mentioned them, did he? No? Okay. You're a maggot, weaving in and out of the lives of Flubuggers as if they were so much clay or bread or whatever maggots do. In short, you're a bastard! You two-bit, washed-up has been! As if I, Hope Faydz!... and you're goddam right I'm proud... would ever stoop to your level to address your ludicrous allegations. Ha! Not on your life, buddy boy. And you can tell that to all your friends at the Nafta Inn. Yeah, I know alllll about you and that little... what's his name? Bruce?

Hypocrite!

The mere thought that I would EVER take advantage of that poor, little darling angel, Wren, is beyond comprehension. Only a MAN like you could twist something beautiful into a tawdry affair. And, okay fine. We're having an affair. BFD. As if we're the only two women in Flubug who ever took one look at the men in this town and said, "Yuckkkk!" Besides, she's in much better hands with me than she ever was with Gwen. Anyone with eyes could see that. Not much of a scoop there, Mr. Flubug Tonite. Gwen needs help. And I mean that in the nicest of ways. She needs, you know... professional help. The meds ain't workin', sweetheart!  Hahahahahaha! The damnable thing is I could give her the name of a really good shrink. But you think she'd listen? pfffft..

Get out your candles and pins, Gwen baby! You don't mind if Wren and I lay here nekkid on the bed while we wait, now, do you? :P

Okay, back to you, Slime Ball. How did you ever sell KRAK your show? Everyone knows you're a flat out liar. Hell, you're worst than Nick Carz. And, no, I ain't scared of Amber. Trust me, this was the last year that bitch'll ever be Bonfire Queen! Thought I saw a bit of a gut forming around her mid-section.

But I digress.

Candy? You are by far the most despicable, disgusting, reprehensible, irresponsible, reckless idiot I have ever known and I swear.... and I have a witness right here.... that if you print one more WORD about me and Wren, I'll drag that rat-ass newspaper, blog or whatever it is into court so fast it'll make Wartti's head spin. So just chew on that and smoke it!