I Got Your Wren Right Here, Ornery

Ya know what? I'm rootin' for the riots. Serves Ornery right for bein' a dumbass. Cuttin' people's wrens? On Christmas Eve? ...and while eatin' a burrito, no less! That's some Dickens shit, lemme tell ya. And, hell, I'd be out there tonight, if I weren't all laid up with this broken heart.

I know, I know. It's a lameass excuse. But it happens to be true. And SOME people know what I'm talking about.

Alright, guys. You can bug out for a minute.

Ladies? You know I've had my heart stomped on more times than Fruit's had his eyes checked. And I never did SQUAT to deserve it. Sure I raised some hell, plucked a few unripened cherries now and then. What girl doesn't? But I never did nothin' to deserve all the shit I've taken. 'course I never had a heartache last more than a week. A Faust?... maybe eight?... and I was always back in the pink.

But this time it's different. When a girl breaks your heart, it ain't nothin' - unless it's THE girl. And I ain't talkin' to all you ladies out there tonight. I'm talkin' to HER. You know who you are. The only woman who ever meant shit to me. The girl who yanked my heart out like Piss-a-ro interrogatin' a Mayan... then gave it to me to eat.

Wren.

That's right, Wren. And, fuck you. I ain't over it yet. All this talk about wrens! And it's Christmas. And now Ornery goes and dredges up that dipshit Crotch's name again. - that lyin,' cheatin', coniving smug sonofabitch. "Crotch wouldn't let hunger stand in his way of winning!"

Ornery? You know what? You're just flat out too STUPID to be mayor! Ya know that? You're an idiot! Your wife's an idiot! Your kid's an idiot (not that mine's any better). Even your mama's a idea!

So I'm rootin' for the rioters. I hope they burn City Hall to the ground. And I know goddam well half you fuckers just think I'm just feelin' sorry for myself... and all this talk of "wrens" and the RIGGED race has me upset..  Well, maybe it does! But I don't want your sympathy. If I want sympathy, I'll go to Gwen's Womyn With Problems (if I can find it) or go find Raven for a rigful o' poo.

Nah. I don't want sympathy. I want Wren. And if I can't have her, I'd just fiddle while Flubug burns.

Okay, guys. You can come back now.